Help Someone Quit Smoking

Quitting is the single most important step a person can take to improve the length and quality of their life. Learn how to help someone you love quit for good.

When someone takes the big step of deciding to quit, family, friends, and co-workers can make a huge difference by giving their help and support.

If your friend isn't quite ready to quit, try to see it from their side. For most who smoke and use other tobacco products, it has been a steady companion for a long time. Some reluctance is normal, and it doesn't mean your friend won't be able to quit for good. First, let your friend know you understand their doubts, then suggest they list their reasons for quitting. Be sure to tell your friend about Freedom From Smoking, 1-800-LUNGUSA and their state's free quitline for support in quitting and staying quit.

How Do You Begin?

Quitting is different for each person and everyone experiences its challenges differently. Here's how you can help someone on their journey and show that you care.

Tips for Helping Someone Quit

  • Ask your friend or family member what they think they need to most
  • Ask them what the best thing you could do for them
  • Tell your friend that you know he or she can quit for good, even if they have tried to quit before.
  • For the first few days after they quit, be ready to help. They may just want to talk, or your friend may want extra help when a tough situation arises, such as a party, or a crisis at home or work.
  • Offer to call or visit to check on them. Ask how your friend is feeling, not just whether or not they are still haven't used.
  • No nagging, scolding or preaching—that just doesn't work. Instead, let your friend know how much you admire them for trying to quit.
  • Give lots of compliments and offer rewards for getting through a day, a week or a month without using their tobacco product. Rewards can be simple—flowers, a lunch treat, or even doing a chore for your friend around the house or office.
  • Support your friend in establishing rewards for short-term and long-term milestones reached. Offer to make their favorite meal or pick up doing their chores while they relax.
  • Do things together; go to a movie or take a walk. Stay away from places where other people may be using.
Being There for the Long Run

Quitting is a journey and a process, not a single event. You can help someone throughout that journey until they are able to quit for good.

Ask Them What You Can Do to Help

Let your friend or family member know that you are available to help. Ask them what you can do to help. Unwanted help is often not perceived as helpful, so be sure to follow their lead. Simply letting them know that you support them and are there to help when needed can often be the biggest help of all.

Help Your Friend Get Professional Help

People who smoke and use other tobacco products including e-cigarettes and vaping devices can get help from the American Lung Association Lung HelpLine at 1-800-LUNGUSA (1-800-586-4872). Trained HelpLine counselors can suggest lots of ways to quit smoking and using other tobacco products and to stay quit. For example:

  • How to set a quit date.
  • How to manage stress and negative feelings.
  • Where to get additional support
  • Building social support.
  • Learning how to relax and control weight.
  • Planning how to manage urges and cravings.
  • How medications work. Quit medications, such as nicotine gum, skin patches, nasal spray, oral inhalers, and non-nicotine medications buproprion hydrochloride (Zyban®) and varenicline (Chantix®), help relieve physical symptoms when trying to quit. These products should not be used by pregnant or nursing women. People with other medical conditions should consult their physicians before using these medications.

How Long Will Your Friend Need Help?

The first seven to 10 days are the toughest. Most people who use tobacco products who return to using do so within the first three months. The best thing you can do is be empathetic, help them focus on what they accomplished and continue to be supportive and available.

"Slips" (having a puff, smoking one or two cigarettes, taking a hit off a vape or an e-cigarette) are pretty common. If your friend has slipped, remind them of all the good reasons to stay quit. Affirm all your friend's efforts to quit and remind them that a "slip" does not mean they can't get back on track again. As long as they keep trying and don't give up, they will be able to quit for good.

People who previously smoked or used tobacco products may encounter an urge months or even years after they quit. This is normal. Remind your friend that such urges will occur less often over time and they'll eventually stop completely.

You deserve a lot of credit for helping someone overcome their addiction. Your help can make the difference. Most people who are able to stop are the ones who get help and encouragement from family, friends and co-workers.

If Your Friend Starts Again

Forget about blame or guilt. Your friend is really still learning how to quit—they are not failing. Remind your friend about how well he or she did during the time without their tobacco products. Each time someone tries to quit is a step forward. The best thing to say to your friend is, "Good try! I care about you and please let me know what I can do to help."

Additional Resources

Suggest that your friend check out the many Freedom From Smoking® resources, which include:

  • Freedom From Smoking® Group Clinics—Led by a certified facilitator, individuals go through the process of quitting in a supportive environment.
  • Freedom From Smoking® Plus—Start your quit journey with the click of a button. Access our quit program on your phone, tablet or desktop computer—anytime, anywhere.
  • Freedom From Smoking® The Guide to Help You Quit—Available in English and Spanish, this detailed guide takes you through the process of quitting day by day.
  • And don't forget to call the Lung HelpLine at 1-800-LUNGUSA (1-800-586-4872) for more assistance!
Meeting Challenges

Many people hit bumps on their journey to quitting smoking. Dealing with these obstacles is an important part of helping someone quit for good.

Gaining Weight

Some smokers gain weight when they stop smoking, but the average is only seven to 10 pounds. Even with this weight gain, they will be much better off health-wise than they would be if they continued to smoke. Balancing the right amount and variety of foods with physical activity is the best way to control weight during the quitting process. Some things you can do to help:

  • Have low-fat snacks such as carrots, fresh fruit, plain popcorn or sugarless gum around.
  • Do active things together where smoking doesn't fit in. Swimming, jogging or brisk walking are great choices.

Handling Urges to Smoke

People who succeed in quitting are often the ones who plan how to cope with smoking urges. Encourage your friend by helping him or her think up some simple things to do when an urge to smoke arises. Your friend might:

  • Call you when he or she feels the urge to smoke. Remind your friend that the urge will pass in just three to five minutes, whether they smoke a cigarette or not!
  • Leave the situation that makes your friend want to smoke. For example, being at a party where alcohol is served may make your friend want a cigarette. When the urge arises, they could walk around the block or better yet, stay away from parties and alcohol for the first few weeks.

Withdrawal Symptoms

Many smokers have withdrawal symptoms during the first few weeks after they quit. Some common ones are:

  • Irritability
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Trouble concentrating
  • Feeling anxious or restless

Your friend may be grouchy, irritable, nervous or pushy. Try not to take it personally. Know that these are symptoms and that they will not last. They will go away in time. A week or two may seem like a long time when you're not feeling well, but it will get better.

Outlasting Your Friend's Addiction

Your friend is trying to break an addiction to cigarettes that may have started in his or her teens. Be prepared for some unfriendly or even nasty behavior; your friend is going through a tough time. Even if they're acting badly, tell them you care and do what you can to help.  The bad times won't last long, but the benefits of quitting last forever.

Encourage your friend to talk about how he or she is feeling and listen to what they say. Give your undivided attention.

Reaching Out

Whether you currently use nicotine or tobacco products including e-cigarettes and vaping devices, have never used, or have successfully gone tobacco-free, you can successfully support a friend who is trying to quit.

What If You Used to Use?

Quitting is different for everyone, but because you went through it yourself, you might be a special help to your friend, but remember everyone is different. What worked for you might not work for them. Ask your friend how they are feeling and what you can do to help.

Mention all the good things you have felt since quitting. The short-term benefits are easier to understand—fresher breath, no more smelly clothes, or stained teeth or fingers, and lots more energy and sex appeal. Many people who used to use tobacco products talk about getting control of their lives when they quit.

Smoking is an addiction, and it's hard for most folks to quit. Remind your friend that almost 53 million Americans have quit and that they can do it too.

What If You Are Still Using?

Help your friend, and yourself, by not smoking or using tobacco products around them. Think up new activities to replace those where you may have used together.

The best gift you could give your friend and yourself is for you to quit as well. Your friend is more likely to stay quit if you are not using either. If you decide to quit, be sure you and your friend ask others for support as well.

What If You Have Never Used?

If you've never smoked, listen to your friend and encourage him or her to express their feelings and be sympathetic. You might not know exactly what your friend is going through, but you can still be a good listener and help them get through this tough time.

Give a Membership

Give the gift of a membership to Freedom From Smoking Plus, our online proven quit smoking program. Participants create a custom quit plan, build skills to break their addiction, learn about medication to help them quit, track their successes and learn how to maintain a smokefree life.

Helping Quit Resource Library

View and download helpful tools to help throughout the quit journey, including a collection of quick reference guides.
View resources

Become a Facilitator

Get involved with the Freedom From Smoking® program by either bringing it to your organization or becoming a trained facilitator.
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Employee Wellness Programs

The American Lung Association recognizes the need for lung health and smoking cessation programs for the business environment. To assist employers, we offer several programs for businesses and managed care providers. Contact us at 1-800-LUNGUSA (1-800-586-4872) or [email protected] to learn how we can provide our gold standard tobacco cessation program, Freedom From Smoking®, to your business.

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Page last updated: October 25, 2024

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Richmond, VA | Oct 29, 2024