Elizabeth P

Elizabeth P., MA

My Grandmother was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer in September 2012. She was gone six weeks later. She passed away two days before Thanksgiving. Losing her was horrible enough, but losing her near a holiday was unbearable. We didn't even know she was sick, as her symptoms mirrored that of previous condition she already had. She only made it through one chemotherapy appointment. It made her so tired, but all I can remember is that she still made herself get up and cook dinner for us. At first, I tried to do everything for her, but then she told me to just treat her as I always have. I sang at her funeral and gave the eulogy. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. My biggest challenge to face was the uncertainty of what chemo for her would be like. Up until she was diagnosed, I fortunately had no experience with other close family members and cancer. Sometimes I also felt angry that she couldn't quit smoking. Then I felt guilty for feeling angry. What gives me hope after all my family went through, is that my mom quit smoking after my Grandma passed away. I miss her all the time, but I know she would be so proud of my mom for quitting, even if it took her death to help her daughter realize that it can kill you and take loved ones left behind hostage.

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